How to have less stress and more joy this holiday season!
The winter holiday season is fast approaching and no matter how you may feel about this season, it is likely that you have some strong feelings and expectations.
This year, why not pause for a moment and reflect about what you truly love about the holidays and also acknowledge any “shoulds” that may be cluttering up your mind and heart. Below are a few suggestions to support you in creating a more joyful holiday season. Before you race around looking for just the right gift to purchase or the perfect meal to plan, consider these tips for crafting your holiday in ways that makes sense for you this year, at this stage of your life.
5 Tips for a More Stress-Free Holiday Season
1. Focus on what matters to you
For many, holidays are a time to decorate, bake cookies, and buy and wrap presents. But if decorating seems like a waste of time or baking cookies does not bring you joy, it is OK to let that go. You might journal or free-write about what would make this holiday season more joyful for you. And feel free to capture any not to dos along with the to dos. And here is a really radical idea: Put away the digital devices and focus on genuine connection!
2. Try mindful planning
Rather than succumbing to the chaos of last-minute preparations, approach the holiday season with mindful planning. Create a schedule that allows for breaks and relaxation. Avoid overcommitting to events and learn to say no when necessary. Mindful planning ensures that you have time to enjoy the festivities without feeling overwhelmed. Block off time for self-care and activities that bring you personal joy, and stick to your plan to maintain balance.
Advance planning can really reduce stress. A comprehensive list of all of the tasks that you wish to complete in order to make your holidays merry and bright can help you to delegate, to pare down, and to better assess what is truly important.
And don’t forget to make a done list, capturing all of the tasks that you end up completing that may not be on your to do list. Check out this fascinating article in which author Lisa Evans explains that “A neurochemical shift happens in your brain when you say “done” at the end of even the smallest tasks.”
3. Give from the heart (not from the wallet)
It is essential to remember that the most important things in life are not things! The best gifts are those that are tailored to the individual. Focus on meaningful and thoughtful gifts rather than costly ones. You might consider handmade items or personalized experiences to create lasting memories. Don’t be afraid to re-gift items or shop second-hand stores and thrift stores for just the right gift for your loved one. And be sure to seriously consider clutter-free gifts! And if you receive a gift that is just not your style, consider giving it to a donation location. It doesn’t matter that “it is brand new” or has never been worn. In fact that will make it even more of a joy for the conscious shopper who finds it! I like to imagine two friends at a thrift store together. One holds up your donation and says to her friend “Isn’t this just what you have been looking for?”Share your commitment to reducing consumption and to taking steps to avoid filling more landfills. Think twice about returning unwanted presents to the store.
4. Relax your expectations
When you consider all of the things that you might feel you are expected to do in order to create a successful holiday experience, focus in on the three main feelings that you wish to have and offer to others. Learn to say no to obligations and events that are not meaningful to you. And this year, why not plan for some down time? Set aside 15 minutes to read a book, go for a walk, or soak in the tub. Doing so will help you to be more present for others and allow you to tune in and truly listen to the needs, desires and wants of those that you spend the holidays with.
5. Create new traditions (or modify the old ones)
You do not need to make your holidays the same as your mother or grandmother did! You might enjoy going on a family hike and bringing food in rather than spending the entire morning cooking. And if you LOVE cooking then go for it! But remember that others are happy to help and you do not have to do it all on your own. But you can also feel free to create brand new traditions more centered around spending quality time together.
This is wonderful. I’m trying to eliminate the word “should” from my vocabulary as much as possible. It only brings feelings of guilt if you don’t do what you or someone else says you should! Instead, I consider the benefits of doing (or not doing) the task or activity in question.
I’m glad you picked up on that subtle hint, Janet!
One simple way to eliminate “should” is just replace it with “could.” There is a much gentler and kinder energy to the word “could” don’t you think?
Thanks so much for sharing your insights.
This post came at a good time. Things have been busy recently with some family stuff going on. Luckily our lawyers have been taking care of that side of things, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to better take care of my side of things. I relate a lot to Janet’s comment. I have a lot of “shoulds” in my life and when I don’t get to them, I get discouraged. I’m going to try replacing them with “could”, I think that can help a lot. Thank you.
That tiny (but mighty!) word change can REALLY make a difference. Glad you will give it a try!